Tuesday, October 30, 2012

So Why Don't I Feel Any Safer?

I do my best to keep this light and breezy. I rarely post anything political, controversial, or "heavy". But I have to make an exception. Airport security is almost more than I can bear. Before you know it we will have to subject ourselves to strip searches before we can get on the plane. All because some people don't know how to "play well with others".

Dallas was a breeze. They have some kind of advanced equipment. I really don't know if it's the one that shows the person viewing a "naked" image or not. I don't much care as long as it isn't being broadcast to the entire airport.

Then there is London. Heathrow has to be the worst airport in the world. I'm in my 60s. The closest I've come to anything radical was an invitation to join the Yippies back in 1968. Yes, it was a long time ago. I almost always travel in jeans. At this point in my life, I'm lucky to get myself in them. I can assure anyone that there's nothing in there except me. If they bulge a bit here and there, it's only fat - unfortunate, but true. Same for my bra. There was absolutely no need for the screener to stick her hands in my pants. Likewise, there was no need for her to perform a full frontal assault on my breasts. Usually when somebody touches me like that, they buy me dinner. Anyplace else, this would be considered assault. But there in Heathrow, she is free to go and she doesn't have to buy me anything.

Our flight into Rome was delayed, so we stood around and watched the people coming through security. Every now and then, a young man or woman was assaulted but for the most part it was women over 50. To see the people they pull over you would think that there is a subversive organization of grannies - Grannies for Jihad, maybe. But really, I suppose they just like to pick on us because they think we're easy targets - not likely to make a fuss. They say the searches are "random". It just cannot be. That many women over 50 would NOT come up in a random sample.

The other thing that makes Heathrow particularly annoying is that many of the screeners are wearing hajibs. It strikes me a bit like the fox minding the hen house. It is not my intent to villify all Muslims, but let's just be realistic for a minute. All (meaning 100%) terrorist acts and attempted terrorist acts involving aircraft have had Muslims as the perpetrators and ring leaders. I know that past performance is not a guarantee of future results, but it is a pretty reliable indicator. When you know that the people who commit terrorist acts on airplanes are young Muslim men, why are you wasting your time looking at middle-aged white women? It just doesn't make sense. Also, I have NEVER seen a woman wearing a burka pulled aside for additional screening. You could get a lot more under that loose flowy thing than I can get in my jeans. Maybe I should start wearing one of those instead of jeans. I'm sick to death of political correctness.

Then the return trip. In Rome I am once again selected for additional screening. It's starting to get really old now. I rolled my eyes at her and according to Mark she gave me dagger eyes when we walked off. I don't care. At least she didn't search me with quite as much vigor as the screener at Heathrow. At least she didn't stick her hands in my pants.

But then we get to go back to Heathrow before heading to Dallas. I couldn't believe it. No one wanted to assault me. When they waved me through instead of pulling me aside I asked, "Are you sure? You don't want to feel me up? Really? Last chance..." I was told it was my lucky day. But it wasn't. When we went to the gate, they have those last "security checkpoints". I'm not sure what their purpose is, other than to employ people. They are probably about 20 feet apart from each other (some aren't even that far). They are within sight of each other. Any one of them can pull you aside to check you or your bags one last time. I made it through. But Mark got caught in the last one. This last screening is inside the gate. They had blocked off the first row of seats and set up some tables in full view of all passengers. The select few start taking off belts, coats, shoes - anything they were asked to remove. I tried to keep my sense of humor by encouraging Mark to "Take it off, take it all off." - (Remember that shaving cream commercial?) Of course, I wasn't saying it loud enough for anyone to hear me other than the guy standing next to me. I was very concerned when I saw someone else being summoned in to meet with Mark. I shouldn't have worried. He had insisted on seeing the supervisor to find out why he had been selected for the additional screening. Now we're getting somewhere. He told me later that his name was on a list provided by the TSA in Dallas. Really? Why? I'll be calling my Senator when I get home. But what happened next was shameful and made me lose my sense of humor. The next person called in for additional screening is a poor old dear in her late 70s to mid 80s. She used a walking stick. She couldn't take her own shoes off. -- Never mind there were two screeners there who were on her like stink on poop to get her shoes off for her, and her coat, and her scarf. I thought they were going to strip her naked for a minute. The way they treated this woman made me physically sick. It might have been my mother. In another 15 years, it might be me. I lost my sense of humor. It was sickening. It was disgusting. Something needs to be done to stop it. Do I feel safer knowing that somebody's grandma has been assaulted by these security thugs? Sadly, I don't.

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