A Victim of His Own Efficiency

The days before a trip can be hectic. At least they are at our house. So much to do! Get the laundry done so you can pack. Take the kitties to Camp O'Shea. Shop for last minute items. Make sure the bills are paid and checks have been deposited. Busy, busy, busy.

We took Heidi and Hefner to Camp O'Shea today so I'd have tomorrow to pack without making them suspicious. But after we dropped them off, I was hungry. "How about some lunch?" I went through the coupon book and we decided on lunch at Bonnie Ruth's after stopping at Citi Bank. But then we realized that it was nearly 1:00 and there just wasn't time for a leisurely lunch. A new plan - we have to pick up prescriptions at Brookshire's so we'll just buy some nice artisan bread and some ham and we'll have sandwiches for lunch so Mark can make his client meeting at 3:00.

I admit, I'm not the fastest shopper. I have to read the labels. I don't want to buy anything with High Fructose Corn Syrup in it. The best way to know what's in it is to read the label and that just takes time. This is why women are gatherers - we have to look at everything before it goes into the basket. But men are hunters. They don't need to look at it, they just spear it and move on to the next one. Very quick. Quick and efficient are synonymous, aren't they? So Mark has a strategy. We will both go into the store. I will get the prescriptions and he will get the bread and ham. Then we will go to the bank. Then we will go home. I will load the car with the items that are being donated to charity and he will make the sandwiches. Then he will go to his client meeting. We have a workable plan.

Mark had hunted down the bread and ham and paid for them before I was finished at the prescription counter. After we left Brookshire's we went straight home. We did not deposit the check. But that's okay, we didn't even realize we'd forgotten that for several hours. He had very efficiently hunted down the bread and the ham and was quite eager to get home and make the sandwiches. When we got home, I started loading the car and Mark started making the sandwiches. Many of you may think we got this wrong - that he should have been loading the car and I should have been making the sandwiches. But Mark knows his way around the kitchen (at least until he's asked to unload the dishwasher) and often produces some very inventive sandwiches.

Mark let me know that the sandwiches were ready and I took my seat. They were lovely! English mustard, ham, tomato, cheese and mayo on artisan bread. I took a bite. I looked at Mark. He was looking back with a semi-raised eyebrow.

"What kind of bread is this?", I asked.
"I don't know. Whatever they had. I just grabbed one."

I got up and looked at the package. "Apple Cinnamon!" It's awful! It might be nice for breakfast but it is completely wrong with mustard, ham, cheese and tomato. I am amazed. No, I'm stunned. Maybe incredulous is a better word. I just can't believe that he bought a loaf of bread, artisan or otherwise, without even looking at it! Who does that?? And then he made two sandwiches with it and still doesn't have a clue that it's apple cinnamon?

I immediately got out some whole grain bread so I could transfer my ham, tomato, and cheese onto it. But Mark decided to skip lunch and left in a bit of a huff. I offered to "fix" his sandwich, but he declined. Clearly a victim of his own efficiency.

He's now informed me that he's not going to buy bread in Brookshire's anymore -- because they go out of their way to trick you into buying apple cinnamon bread when you think you are buying multi-grain bread. I'm not sure what he'll do when he buys the wrong bread in Market Street - probably just stop eating bread. Or he could try reading the label...