The Taj Mahal of Driveways

I decided to go with the ONLY city-sanctioned company that bothered to give me a quote. I wasn't happy that none of my new choices were on Angie's List. He was only charging me a few hundred more than the company I'd originally chosen although I had to pay him extra to go get the permit.  You would think that pulling permits is just part of the job.  But at that point I was willing to pay any price not to have to deal with those folks at the city who just couldn't decide how things should be done. In addition to the 12-year old and the 20-year old, there was also a 50-year old who had a completely different story from the other two. Better someone who at least knew something about concrete should deal with them instead of me.

The next step was to get on the schedule. I was hoping we could get it done within a matter of days because Mark's dad had died and we had to return to England for a couple weeks. But no, like the other concrete company, I would have to wait a month. This would put us into the time we were due to be away. It would have to wait until we returned in November.

Remember that I left the contractor to deal with the city? I remembered it. I paid him for it. Cash. So imagine my surprise when I got a phone call from the city telling me that we could not build the driveway as planned because it didn't meet the city specifications. It appears that while everyone was spinning around in a state of confusion, the city engineer managed to complete his specification. And instead of calling the contractor, they decided to call me.

It also turns out they wanted me to build the Taj Mahal of driveways. The culvert was to be made of two-inch thick concrete with a 24-inch inside diameter. Then it was to be four-inch thick concrete on top of that. Math was never my best subject but that tells me that I need at least 32 inches of space to accommodate all that material. Big job for a swale that probably isn't even a foot deep. At this stage it was a swale, not a ditch. And it would all connect to a street that really isn't in good condition at all. It would be the finest driveway around here. But I didn't want the Taj Mahal. I just wanted to be able to park my camper and I wanted it to look nice. Neat. Tidy. I didn't see why I needed to meet the same standard as a supermarket. This was to be a private drive, not a public parking lot.

I pointed out that NO ONE else in the neighborhood anywhere around me had that kind of concrete on their drive. That was because the driveways are old and don't have to meet current code. I pointed out that some of the driveways were indeed new and questioned why they didn't have to meet code. That was because they were merely repairing an existing driveway and not building a new one. I don't believe it. Some of the people had just filled in the swale and didn't even bother with a culvert. My best guess is that they just did it without getting a permit. It's always easier to get forgiveness than permission. In retrospect, that's probably what I should have done. But I was trying to do it right. I was informed by the city engineer that I could not fill it in or use anything less than their specification required because it would interfere with drainage. Apparently all of the drainage problems in the city are dependent on my little corner. I pointed out that the house being built across the street from me had just put in a NEW driveway and had filled in the culvert. That was because that road fell under the jurisdiction of the state rather than the city so they had no say about it, unlike the side street where I wanted to put my extra driveway. I also pointed out that exceptions to code were made all the time. There's a house about a block away that got an exception to build a frame house instead of brick. The two houses being built across the street got an exception to build two houses on one lot. But no. No exception for me to put in a concrete driveway with a steel culvert. It all had to be concrete.

I tried to phone the city council members. Something you can't really do anymore because their home numbers aren't listed. They are all hiding behind a generic "city council" phone number. But their email addresses were all listed. I wrote to all six of them as well as the mayor and the city manager. I included the pictures that we took of other driveways in a three-block radius.  I was sure that reason would prevail. It was very disappointing that only the city manager and one, just ONE, city council member even bothered to respond to me and that was to inform me that the city codes just could not possibly be violated. (Look around, dude! It's happening everyday.) As for the rest of them who couldn't be bothered to respond be assured that I will never vote for any of you again! And I will discourage everyone I know from doing so.

The city engineer did come out to look because I explained that to fit it all in, I wouldn't be building a driveway, I'd be building a ramp. I really didn't want to have to back the camper over a hill of my own making. He did agree that the swale would have to be dug out to accommodate the drive. Then he called the contractor to make sure he didn't gouge me on the price because of the changes to the specification. Then the city engineer called and said the city would put in the culvert, but I would have to pay for it and it would be $200 less than the contractor was charging. I agreed.

Within a few days someone from the city came out and put down flags so they would know where to dig the ditch. I was sharing my dilemma with a friend who told me he'd been through the same thing with them. He also told me that they put down the flags, which blew away or otherwise disappeared after a couple months but that they had never dug out the ditch so he could build his driveway. He'd been through this exercise at least twice. This didn't bode well at all.

We went off to England in the middle of October. They still hadn't dug the ditch. We came back on November 1st. They still hadn't dug the ditch. This really didn't bode well at all.