"Almost" Free Enterprise in Mexico

Back in 2001 I went on a shore excursion in Cozumel. The tour took Jeeps down some dirt tracks to see some Mayan ruins and then went to a beach where people could swim and snorkel. Then we were served the most amazing fish tacos! And then we got back in our Jeeps and headed back to the ship. It was wonderful! So with that in mind, I booked us on the Jeep/Snorkel tour.

Our first stop was to snorkel. I don't put my face in the water so I planned to sit that one out. Mark wasn't in the mood to snorkel so we got some water and some tea and sat up on the deck. The guide announced that we would be there for 45 minutes. Really not much time if you wanted to snorkel. Not to mention that it took about 15 to 20 minutes for the snorkelers to get their gear. (They had to sit on little benches and wait for the group that was already out there to come back in because there wasn't enough snorkeling equipment to go around.) If I'd wanted to snorkel, I wouldn't have been happy.

Our second stop was supposed to be a local village that had some Mayan ruins. This was not much of a village. This was a road with three houses on it. At the end of the road there was a pavilion and a bunch of makeshift booths. Most of the people under the pavilion were selling photo opportunities - you could stand by a donkey, hold an iguana, or wear a sombrero - for a nominal fee, of course. Or you could buy a "beautiful plate with your name on it". Then there were the makeshift booths surrounding the pavilion.

"You come in lady. You look. It's so cheap it's almost free."

"You come in. You look. You might find something you like."

Assuming that they put their best stuff toward the front to entice people into the shop, I didn't think I needed to go in. If a Pittsburgh Steelers serape was the best item they had, I just didn't need to see more.

But the "village" also had Mayan ruins and a church. I wanted to see the Mayan ruins. I've been to Chichen Itza. Fabulous! But halfway there on that trip, the bus was diverted to a similar "craft mall", not quite as makeshift as the one we stopped at this trip, but a trap to part you from your money, none the less. The "ruins" at this particular village consisted of a pile of rocks, especially when compared with the 2001 trip and Chichen Itza. The Catholic church next door to the pile of rocks was far more interesting.

We were there for 15 minutes. Long enough for Nathan and Pedro to put a bit more gas in all the Jeeps. We loaded back into the Jeeps and set off again. We were still on the highway. Our next stop was across the street from a beach. Once again, there was a shop and a restaurant. We were told we'd be there for 30 minutes. Chips and salsa were free, but you had to buy something to drink. (Well, you didn't HAVE to buy something to drink. You could be thirsty if you wanted to.) We were also instructed not to go in the water because of the currents.

The next stop was Hacienda Antigua Tequila. We were encouraged to taste the tequila. It came in an assortment of flavors. But Mark and I didn't. I don't recommend tequila at all, much less on an empty stomach and Mark was driving. The tequila was NOT "almost free". As you can see from the photo, this tequila was over $1300 per bottle. Do people really pay that much for something to drink? (And tequila is one of those things that people drink and then don't remember drinking it.) But there was a gift shop outside selling black coral jewelry and assorted pottery. All of which was "almost free" - as indicated by the sign (written in English, by the way).

The next stop was lunch. Thank goodness! I was remembering those wonderful fish tacos served up on the beach back in 2001. And we finally went off road! Really, what is the point of having a Jeep if you're only going to drive it on the highway? We were at a "beach club". But we weren't going in the water because we only had time to eat and head back to the boat. The menu consisted of a fajita, a quesadilla, chips, salsa, and a slice of watermelon. You could have cheese and beans on it. The cheese was like the stuff they put on nachos at sporting events. The beans had either been liquified or they were just serving up "bean juice". The taste of beans without the actual bother of them. My fajita had two little pieces of meat - one was definitely chicken, the other might have been beef, or goat, or who knows what. The quesadilla was barely edible. It was better than the lunch we were served a few years ago en route to Chichen Itza. That consisted of a mystery meat sandwich on stale white bread, a bag of crunchy hydrogenated oil and a piece of fruit that was two days past it's prime.

Here's the bottom line. Nothing is "almost free". They charge you enough that they could (and should) serve a decent lunch. (They actually did serve a decent lunch back in 2001.) You shouldn't have to make all of those time-eating stops where you are hassled by people wanting you to buy junk, even if they are related to the tour guide, or paying him a commission for bringing you. Next time, I might just stay on the boat. So there.