Austin Traffic

When we go to San Antonio, we typically bypass Austin and drive through the Texas Hill Country. It doesn't take any longer and it's less aggravating than the struggle of taking I-35 through the center of Austin. BUT we thought that since it was the Friday before a major holiday and we'd be passing through after 6 PM that it wouldn't be a big deal. We were very wrong.

The slow down started at Round Rock (as it always does) but it eased up after ten minutes, so we thought it would be smooth sailing after that. We were very wrong again.

It was crawl, speed up and slow down to a crawl again all the way through. I counted at least three accidents with police cars and wreckers. Seems a high number of accidents for the size of the city and the relatively small stretch of road. All in all, it added about 30 minutes to the trip, which wasn't too bad - it has taken up to an extra hour in the past.

I have to conclude that the folks in Austin just can't drive very well. I think we'll go home through the Texas Hill Country. Fredericksburg is such a pleasant little town. But then again, how much traffic will there be in Austin on New Year's Day?

A Good $6 Investment

Different people define investments in different ways. To me, an investment is one of three things.

1. Something that I'll be able to use multiple times so that I get my money's worth out of it.
2. Something that pays dividends.
3. Something that increases in value.

I bought a couple of Santa hats for us this year. I'm not sure they'll ever increase in value, but we've already used them multiple times since I bought them last Thursday and they've paid a remarkable dividend.

We were on our way to Oklahoma City on Christmas Eve. There is a road that runs between Route 82 and Interstate 35. No speed limit sign that we could see. But we now know that the speed limit is 55. We found out because we were doing 65 - 10 miles over the limit. From what I understand, a speeding ticket generally costs $25 for each mile over the speed limit - so in our case that would have been $250.

"Good morning sir. Do you know how fast you were going?"

"Good morning. About 65 I think."

"Did you know the speed limit is 55?"

"No, I had no idea."

"I'll need your license and insurance card. When was the last time you had a ticket?"

"I've never had one."

Thank goodness he didn't say "Well, that's about to change!" He said, "I'm going to run your license through the computer and if everything checks out, I'll give you a warning."

A warning! No ticket! No fine! It could have been because of Mark's stellar driving record. But I prefer to think that it was because we were wearing Santa hats. Really, who could give a ticket to an old git in a Santa hat? That's like a 4000% return on that $6. I'll be looking for bunny ears in a few months...

Paper, Pen, and Pretty to the Rescue

A long time ago (a really long time ago - like before everyone had a computer in the house) I had a Christmas card list "book". It was just a cheap little thing - a giveaway from a card company. It was far from ideal but it had columns for listing names, street addresses, cities, states, and zip codes. And then it had columns for "sent" and "received". These went out about 10 years, so the book served me well for a long time.

It's probably been over 10 years since that book's last columns were used. Without the sent and received columns the book ceased to be useful. But I didn't worry. I had a computer and I could make a spreadsheet with all the names and addresses and I could even add columns for sent and received. So I did. I can't remember whether I named the file "addresses" or "christmascardlist" or something else that should have been obvious. What I do remember is that I had to open the file at the end of the season to put the Xs in the received column (that practice was short-lived - too much hassle). And then the following year, I couldn't find the file. But I didn't worry, I'd made a print copy. I could recreate the file. So I did. And I repeated this process for a number of years. This year was no exception. It seems that I never actually bothered putting dates on anything and this year I found several files but had no idea which one was the most current. (You would think the file date would have been helpful, but for some unknown reason, all the files had the same date.) There were six different printed versions in my paper file and the only hints I had were the addresses of people who had moved. It looked to me like none of the files was current. This will not happen again.

A visit to the Hallmark store has solved the problem. The pages are laid out with plenty of room for each address, which is important because many of the people on our list these days don't live in the US and addresses in the UK, Australia, France and even Canada take up more lines. There are five years of sent and received boxes AND there are plenty of extra pages so that when the five years are used up, all I need to do is break out another page. I think this will probably do for the rest of my life, or as long as I can remember where I put it.

What's Happened to Us?

Yet another gun-related tragedy today. I think the last number I heard was 26 people, including children. I am sad and angry all at the same time. The America I grew up in was a safe place. My biggest childhood fear was that the Russians would drop a bomb on me. I had no way of knowing that they couldn't actually get to Ohio with a bomb without being intercepted.

Unfortunately, in my lifetime we've been attacked on our home turf, not by a foreign government but by a terrorist organization. But threats to our safety are not limited to terrorists. We have our own home grown nutcases to be afraid of. We've seen news reports of people shooting up malls, grocery stores, movie theatres, and today an elementary school. Add home invasions to that and it's hard to feel safe anywhere.

We keep hearing the mantra that "guns don't kill people - people kill people". Here's the problem, people with guns can kill more people than people who have no weapon other than their bare hands. In that sense, guns are weapons of mass destruction.

Look at it for a moment from the shooter's perspective. It's impersonal. They only have to fire. They don't have to look into the faces of their victims - they can do it with their eyes closed. Their victims are random, nameless, faceless - in other words killing with a gun doesn't require the killer to consider the humanity of the victim.

I'm not so naive as to think that people can't look into the face of a child and still kill. I know that they do. All too often we hear about mothers drowning their children and psychos abusing and killing children. But not dozens of children at a time. A gun makes it really easy. It's also easy for the shooter to claim that he was "temporarily insane" but miraculously better now. A harder sell if he's strangled 26 people.

At this point no one knows what motivated this shooting spree. Whatever it was, it won't matter to the families who've lost a child or a loved one. I don't care what kind of stress or strain this guy was supposedly dealing with. He didn't deal with it properly.

What's happened to us? Things like this didn't happen when I was growing up. Are people crazier or did we just lock them up back in the 50s and 60s? Why can't we lock them up now? When they catch them and put their pictures on TV they all look looney. But I suppose you need a better reason than "he looks insane" to lock somebody up and I'm sure there are lots of people who look a bit looney but are quite harmless.

Are guns more deadly or more easily available? I suspect they are, on both counts. When I was growing up my dad kept hunting rifles in the house. We didn't have any assault weapons. No matter what the NRA says, no one needs an assault rifle for home protection. I also know that we have "gun control" laws in place but they don't seem to have any teeth. I remember back in the 60s when my dad was buying a hunting rifle. The store clerk asked him what he intended to do with it. Really, if he'd intended to kill someone do you think he'd have told the store clerk? Here in Texas they have gun shows. I went to one once years ago with my ex-husband. You could buy any kind of weapon you wanted. And believe me, there were lots of looney-looking people hanging out there.

It's a complex issue. All too often, authorities make laws/rules that don't address the real problem. (Happens in clubs, corporations, and government all the time.) And in this case, I'm not at all sure what the "real" problem is. I don't have the answers. I do have a gun. I've never fired it at anything other than a paper target. I hope I never do.

Can You Give Me a Hint?

I just got a call from Verizon wireless on my land line. They were actually calling for Mark but, alas, he wasn't here. (They should have called his mobile number!) But I offered to help. After all, I'm the one who handles the bills.

"Let me see if your name is listed on the account. Yes, here you are. Can you tell me the account password?"

"No. I have no idea. Can you give me a hint?"

"I can't."

"Can you tell me if it's letters or numbers? Maybe a name."

"I'm sorry, we're not allowed to tell. I can leave you our toll free number and Mr. Elliott can call back."

(Not allowed?? Really?) "Alright then. But tell me, is there a problem with the account or do you want to sell us something?"

"I just want to tell him about some promotions we're offering right now."

"I'm SURE he'll call you back as soon as he can."

(Yeah, that'll happen.) Little Miss Perky "Not Allowed" rattled off the toll free number, which I did NOT write down. I just don't think I should have to know a password to be annoyed by a telemarketer. I understand they want to prevent an unauthorized person from making changes to our account. But I didn't call them, they called me. What are the odds that someone broke into my house and tied me up with the intention of answering my phone and buying everything that every telemarketer was selling? Besides, I know Mark well enough to know that I'm not the only one who doesn't know the password without a hint.

The Christmas Tree Workout

Mark has been pushing to get a pre-lit Christmas tree for several years. The only reason he's given in favor of it is that it's more "convenient". It wasn't enough to convince me. I was resistant for several very good reasons.

1. If the lights go out, you have to buy another tree, not just a $2 string of lights. This seems impractical to me.
2. You can buy a plain tree and 10 sets of lights for far less than you can buy a pre-lit tree. So it doesn't make economic sense.
3. I really like the Andover "pencil" pine that we have. It's "thin" and doesn't take up the entire room. I've looked for a replacement that's a similar size and shape and so far, I haven't found one. To get something with a bigger diameter would involve moving more than a coat rack.

These three points have been the basis of my resistance. But now, my resistance is gone. It was melted away by five days of limping and pain. We put the tree up last week and I finally stopped hurting yesterday. Usually Mark gets the tree out, "adjusts" the branches and puts the lights on with minor assistance from me, and then we both put the rest of the decorations on together. This year, I had to adjust the branches and put the lights on without his help because he had to finish a report.

Let me tell you, getting those lights on the bottom branches is back-breaking work. Talk about sore muscles! I'm convinced that all I need to do is take the tree down and put it back up every day. All that squatting and bending - I'll strengthen those quads and glutes in no time. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except my morning walk turned into a morning "hobble" for about five days. (But I'm sure I'm stronger now.)

Why didn't he tell me it was killing him rather than "inconveniencing" him? I had no idea until I did it myself. I'm convinced. Right now, I'm really excited about buying a pre-lit tree at the after Christmas sales. Of course, I'm still planning to keep the old one, just move it to another location and maybe not put so many lights on it. We may end up having to move furniture to accommodate a new model, but that can't possibly be any worse than all the stooping and squatting to get the lights on the old one. Maybe I can put the bottom part of the tree on a table to get those lights on before assembling the entire tree. I guess part of me wants to believe that "no pain no gain" applies to Christmas decorations.

Why Cruising is Better than Flying

Mark and I love cruise vacations and we're so fortunate that neither of us suffers from seasickness. Cruising is one of the best vacation deals around. Here's why:

1. No one from the TSA gropes you before you board.
2. You can take as many bags as you want - no charge.
3. Cruise line food is good. Plus there's a variety!
4. You don't have to sleep sitting up.
5. They may misplace your luggage for a while, but they don't send it to a different city or country.
6. There's more to do while you're in transit than read a book, watch a movie, or sleep.
7. You don't have the added expense of a hotel.
8. No one else uses your bathroom, and someone cleans it twice a day.
9. You can stroll around outside.
10. The other passengers are smiling.

Yeah Mon! Nooooooo!

I've heard ugly rumors about Jamaica for 30 years. People say it isn't a safe place to go. A friend of a friend of an acquaintance of someone my cousin's brother-in-law works with was robbed and beaten nearly to death. All sorts of things. That is why we opted for the cruise line tour and I felt compelled to leave my engagement ring safely locked up in our cabin.

Dunn's River Falls in Jamaica was wonderful. We may not have been the oldest people in our group, but we were close. And I know that people who were much younger than we are wimped out and took the stairs. Who says a 60+ cardiac patient can't do this?. (Okay, so there were hand rails in places but those were the places where the water was coming at you so fast it knocked your feet off the rocks.)

We were warned before we got there that people would try to sell us a DVD of our experience but that we were under no obligation to buy it. (We bought it. - That's were these pictures came from.)

We were also warned that there were craft booths. We were told that they would give us "gifts" but then expect us to buy something. We were warned that they would ask our name and then carve it onto something and expect us to buy it. We were told that we were under no obligation to buy anything. Let me tell you, that warning was not strong enough! They should have told us to arm ourselves with sticks and beat our way through.

You know when you go to museums or "attractions" you have to exit through the gift shop? This was like that. Except it wasn't a single gift shop. It was a "crafter's village". Before we could even see what he had, the guy on the outskirts of the village was shouting "hey mon!" We thought we had the perfect excuse - all of our money was on the bus. "No problem! No one takes money to the falls. We go to parking lot with you!" He wanted us to buy a $6 mug for $20 and a $2 magnet for $7. (We bought them both for $10.) He also wanted us to buy junk with our names carved on it. No.

Having escaped only spending $10 for things we would have bought anyway, I decided to forge ahead. (My back was starting to hurt and I really wanted to sit down.) My plan was not to make eye contact with anyone, but to charge through the gauntlet and get to the parking lot. That's what I did. I assumed Mark was behind me. I came through to the parking lot unscathed but Mark did not. I watched the exit to the crafter's village for several minutes. Still no Mark. Where was he? No choice but to backtrack and find him.

It didn't take long. He was surrounded by "craftsmen" all sporting dreadlocks. He seemed relieved to see me. "There she is now!"

"Yes, I lost you. I thought you were behind me, but clearly you weren't." He had obviously made another purchase because he had a bag with stuff wrapped in newspaper. "What did you buy?"

"I'll tell you later."

We got back to the parking lot and I noticed that Mark was visibly upset. He told me that he didn't know where I'd gone. He didn't know if I was in front of him or behind him or if I'd been dragged into a booth somewhere. He said he'd been surrounded by at least nine of them. He felt he had to buy something in self-defense. In the meantime they had become interested in his gold chain (a really, really, really nice one that I bought him for his 60th birthday). And that was when I came back and we escaped.

As they say, all's well that end's well. By the time we got out of there we had no cash left. But we had our jewelry and our lives and some trinkets. And we'll never set foot in a Rastafarian craft village again. I didn't get to see what he bought until we got home. I'm planning to hang them in our office just to remind us of all the fun we had!

A Day in Grand Cayman

Having been completely put off by the Almost Free experience in Mexico and being totally committed to climbing Dunns River Falls in Jamaica, we decided not to get involved in any shore excursions in Grand Cayman. We waited until the rush was over and got off the boat. The boat was tendered rather than docked so it was just a short ride to the pier. We had a leisurely stroll into town. We were given all sorts of coupons for free charms and free necklaces but we didn't go collect any of them. (Most of them aren't worth the effort unless you were already planning to visit the store anyway.)

We did plan to do some shopping because I wanted a shorter beach cover-up for climbing the falls the next day. I also needed some water shoes to avoid ruining my walking shoes. We found those items (and more) fairly quickly and made our way to a restaurant that overlooked the water. We had a leisurely lunch and then made our way back to the pier.

The day was a bit overcast, but it was still a beautiful place to be.

"Almost" Free Enterprise in Mexico

Back in 2001 I went on a shore excursion in Cozumel. The tour took Jeeps down some dirt tracks to see some Mayan ruins and then went to a beach where people could swim and snorkel. Then we were served the most amazing fish tacos! And then we got back in our Jeeps and headed back to the ship. It was wonderful! So with that in mind, I booked us on the Jeep/Snorkel tour.

Our first stop was to snorkel. I don't put my face in the water so I planned to sit that one out. Mark wasn't in the mood to snorkel so we got some water and some tea and sat up on the deck. The guide announced that we would be there for 45 minutes. Really not much time if you wanted to snorkel. Not to mention that it took about 15 to 20 minutes for the snorkelers to get their gear. (They had to sit on little benches and wait for the group that was already out there to come back in because there wasn't enough snorkeling equipment to go around.) If I'd wanted to snorkel, I wouldn't have been happy.

Our second stop was supposed to be a local village that had some Mayan ruins. This was not much of a village. This was a road with three houses on it. At the end of the road there was a pavilion and a bunch of makeshift booths. Most of the people under the pavilion were selling photo opportunities - you could stand by a donkey, hold an iguana, or wear a sombrero - for a nominal fee, of course. Or you could buy a "beautiful plate with your name on it". Then there were the makeshift booths surrounding the pavilion.

"You come in lady. You look. It's so cheap it's almost free."

"You come in. You look. You might find something you like."

Assuming that they put their best stuff toward the front to entice people into the shop, I didn't think I needed to go in. If a Pittsburgh Steelers serape was the best item they had, I just didn't need to see more.

But the "village" also had Mayan ruins and a church. I wanted to see the Mayan ruins. I've been to Chichen Itza. Fabulous! But halfway there on that trip, the bus was diverted to a similar "craft mall", not quite as makeshift as the one we stopped at this trip, but a trap to part you from your money, none the less. The "ruins" at this particular village consisted of a pile of rocks, especially when compared with the 2001 trip and Chichen Itza. The Catholic church next door to the pile of rocks was far more interesting.

We were there for 15 minutes. Long enough for Nathan and Pedro to put a bit more gas in all the Jeeps. We loaded back into the Jeeps and set off again. We were still on the highway. Our next stop was across the street from a beach. Once again, there was a shop and a restaurant. We were told we'd be there for 30 minutes. Chips and salsa were free, but you had to buy something to drink. (Well, you didn't HAVE to buy something to drink. You could be thirsty if you wanted to.) We were also instructed not to go in the water because of the currents.

The next stop was Hacienda Antigua Tequila. We were encouraged to taste the tequila. It came in an assortment of flavors. But Mark and I didn't. I don't recommend tequila at all, much less on an empty stomach and Mark was driving. The tequila was NOT "almost free". As you can see from the photo, this tequila was over $1300 per bottle. Do people really pay that much for something to drink? (And tequila is one of those things that people drink and then don't remember drinking it.) But there was a gift shop outside selling black coral jewelry and assorted pottery. All of which was "almost free" - as indicated by the sign (written in English, by the way).

The next stop was lunch. Thank goodness! I was remembering those wonderful fish tacos served up on the beach back in 2001. And we finally went off road! Really, what is the point of having a Jeep if you're only going to drive it on the highway? We were at a "beach club". But we weren't going in the water because we only had time to eat and head back to the boat. The menu consisted of a fajita, a quesadilla, chips, salsa, and a slice of watermelon. You could have cheese and beans on it. The cheese was like the stuff they put on nachos at sporting events. The beans had either been liquified or they were just serving up "bean juice". The taste of beans without the actual bother of them. My fajita had two little pieces of meat - one was definitely chicken, the other might have been beef, or goat, or who knows what. The quesadilla was barely edible. It was better than the lunch we were served a few years ago en route to Chichen Itza. That consisted of a mystery meat sandwich on stale white bread, a bag of crunchy hydrogenated oil and a piece of fruit that was two days past it's prime.

Here's the bottom line. Nothing is "almost free". They charge you enough that they could (and should) serve a decent lunch. (They actually did serve a decent lunch back in 2001.) You shouldn't have to make all of those time-eating stops where you are hassled by people wanting you to buy junk, even if they are related to the tour guide, or paying him a commission for bringing you. Next time, I might just stay on the boat. So there.

Playing Tag

Baggage tags are very important regardless of your mode of transportation. They increase the risk that your bag ends up in the same place as you. We put our baggage tags on in the Seaside Bistro parking lot. They were just paper tags that we printed on our own printer before we left home. They had to be folded and taped. I folded them all carefully as shown in the diagram. I did my bag first. I overlapped the ends, forming it into a circle. I used several pieces of tape to secure it. In the meantime, Mark was working on his bag. Instead of overlapping the ends, he put them together the way you would place fabric if you wanted to sew a seam. I had no idea about the quantity of tape he was using. It didn't seem like a good idea to question him about it. Experience has taught me not to question how a man is completing a task unless lives are at stake. There was no rule about how to tape the tag to the bag. And my assumption is that there is never one and only one right way to do anything. Besides, he was so much faster at it than I was that he had his bag and the bag with our toiletries completed in the same amount of time it took me to do my bag. Ready to go, we set off for the dock and turned our bags over to one of the porters.

The first thing we did when we got on board was take our carry-on bag to our stateroom. Our checked bags hadn't been delivered yet, but that's not at all unusual. After we set sail, I went back and checked to see if the bags had been delivered yet. My bag was there, but Mark's bag and the bag with the toiletries were not. Interestingly, they were all together when the porter took them. I found it a bit odd that they'd been separated.

I went back to the stateroom around 7 PM to check again. The toiletries bag had been delivered. It was now sporting a sticky tag instead of the tag Mark had put on it. But Mark's bag was still missing. I stopped by the guest services desk and they told me that all the bags had not yet been delivered and to let them know if the missing bag hadn't been delivered by 9 PM. No problem. We went to dinner and returned to the room after 9. Still no bag. We ran into our steward in the hallway and he escorted us to the places where we could look at undelivered bags. Ours wasn't there. Now they started questioning us about the contents of the bag. Did we have bottles of liquid? No. Did we have an iron? No. Mark went to bed and I went back to guest services where we repeated the question exercise. They told me to come back at 11 PM. Wait a minute. I had no intention of coming back every hour to be told the same thing. I was convinced they had delivered the bag to the wrong Elliott. They assured me that if that happened the wrong Elliott would certainly call and let them know they had a bag that didn't belong to them. But when would they do that? It was nearly 10 PM. Then the young lady mentioned the possibility that the bag had been left at the dock and if that were the case, it would be delivered to us Tuesday in Cozumel. I asked what Mark was to do in the meantime. I was told he would have the use of a tuxedo and that he would get free laundry service until his bag was delivered. What was he supposed to do while they did his laundry? Wear the tuxedo all day? Wrap up in a towel? Wear my clothes? We decided to worry about what to do after 11 PM. I gave her a description of the bag - black with a lime green tag.

I understand how airlines lose bags. Everyone coming through checking a bag is going someplace different. But how does a cruise line do it? Everyone on that dock is getting on the same boat. I found it amazing!

Then at 10:50 I got the call. The bag had been found. WooHoo! Mark had clothes! (You'll note that he slept through my efforts to track down his bag.) I went down to guest services to collect the bag. It had the lime green tag but the tag that Mark had taped on was missing.

Now, I'm perfectly happy to blame the cruise line for losing the bag. Just like I blame the post office for lost mail. But I did notice that the bag that I tagged was delivered on time with the tag still on it and the toiletries bag was delivered late with a replacement tag on it, and Mark's bag was brought up to guest services because it had no tag on it and they had no idea who it belonged to. Is it possible that some of the baggage tags weren't actually secure? Is it possible that there is NOT more than one right way to tape a tag? We'll never know because the next time, we'll carry our bags on board.

The Newlyweds

We arrived at the cruise terminal at 1:30 PM, the suggested time shown on our travel documents. We turned our baggage (except for one carry-on) over to the porters and went to find the end of the queue. The queue came out of Terminal 2 and extended past Terminal 1. We headed for the end of the line and kept going past Terminal 1 all the way to The Fisherman's Wharf where we could sit down and enjoy a nibble and something to drink. A much better idea than standing in line for an hour or more.

Since the goal was to have everyone on board by 3:00 PM for a 4:00 PM departure, we decided to head back to the queue at 2:30. The line was significantly shorter, extending just past the exterior of Terminal 2. We could see a couple heading for the line coming from the opposite direction. They were further away. They must have just arrived at the terminal and dropped off their checked luggage. Far more daring than we are arriving 15 minutes ahead of the suggested "be on the boat" time. But they had a greater distance to reach the back of the line than we did so we wouldn't be "last in line" for long. (Fact is neither were they.)

He was average height, brown hair, jeans and a striped polo shirt. No distinguishing marks. I couldn't pick him out in a lineup. She was a different story. She had on bright blue tights, boots, an assortment of necklaces and scarves, a floppy straw hat over her long dark hair, over-sized sunglasses and a winter coat. They took their place in the queue behind us and she promptly threw her coat on the sidewalk and plopped down on it. She expected to be there far longer than I did. She was also expecting worse weather, or she'd come from a cold climate. (Turned out they were from Texas, so I guess the winter coat was just about being prepared.)

The line was moving, so she picked up her coat grabbed her carry-on luggage and moved forward with the line. They hadn't been behind us long when she asked us if this was our first cruise. "No, it's something we try to do every year." Turns out it was their first cruise. "You're going to love it. It's great! Everything is right there. No worries about driving or getting lost. You don't get groped by TSA agents. It's really good value for money." Then we found out that they were on their honeymoon.

Great plan for a honeymoon. Then she told us that she had some wine in her checked baggage. She asked us if that would be "okay". "You used to be allowed to take a bottle on, but I'm not sure if that's still the case." Turns out it was a gift from her favorite uncle, who advised her to cellar it for 20 years but she didn't want to wait. But it crossed my mind that when you have questions about what you can and can't take on board, your best bet is to check the web site for the cruise line or the air line or what ever line you're traveling. But she seemed convinced that the worst that could happen was that they might take her bottles of wine away. She didn't seem upset. Why wouldn't she be upset? No matter what it was, if it was a gift from my favorite uncle, I'd be unhappy if someone took it away. (I was unhappy that they took some of my curry sauce away at the airport and it wasn't even a gift.)

We made idle chit-chat with them, mostly about things you can do on a cruise when she disclosed that she'd packed her passport in her checked baggage. She asked me if that would be "okay". Good grief!! No! It won't be okay. It will be a major pain in the patootie, or worse. You brought a winter coat "just in case" but you don't have your passport?? But I sure didn't want to rain on her parade so I told her the story of the first flight I booked after Mark and I got married and how I'd booked it in the name of Elliott even though that wasn't the name on my passport. Of course I'd realized my error a week or two before the flight and called the airline to figure out what to do. I had to present my marriage certificate along with my passport when we went through security. Not a big deal.

The porters were reminding everyone to make sure they had not packed their passports and boarding documentation before taking the bags. She said no one mentioned that. I suppose it's possible that one person out of 3200 didn't get asked. If I were her husband I would be concerned that I'd just married an idiot. But I said nothing. We've all made stupid mistakes, and most of us have made stupid mistakes that were costly. Mark assured her that Royal Caribbean would be doing everything humanly possible to sort it out. After all, if they weren't on board, they wouldn't be spending any money, which is not in the cruise lines best economic interest.

After we passed the first turn in the security line, I noticed that they were no longer behind us. Mark said that he'd heard her explaining the situation to the woman minding the gate and they'd been pulled out of the line to resolve the problem.

The next time we saw them they were sitting at the back of the roped-off security area. We had completed all the checks and had been issued our boarding cards. It was nearly 4:00 PM. I asked them how it was going. She said they told her they'd have to find and pull her bag, but it had been nearly an hour and she didn't think anyone was actually looking for it. We smiled, offered a bit of encouragement and told them we'd see them on board.

We never saw them again. The romantic in me would like to think they boarded and spent the entire week on their private balcony. But that probably isn't what happened.