If It Fits, It Ships

I don't ship that many things and I've always preferred UPS to USPS. Nothing personal, just the USPS has some reliability issues. But to get to a UPS drop off point is now a 30-plus minute drive and the post office is just down the street - within walking distance if it isn't too hot.

I've seen the ads. If it fits it ships. Weight doesn't matter. What a great deal! I need to ship some shirts to my aunt. Mark went to the post office to get a box. We made the assumption (wrongly) that we would need the biggest box they had. He came home with it and I loaded the shirts into it. They didn't even take up half the room in the box. What a dilemma! Should we buy more shirts or get a smaller box? After we decided on the smaller box, I suggested that Mark return the big box to the post office and get the next size. He didn't think the post office would exchange the box and suggested I go handle it myself.

So I picked up the box to take it to the car. Halfway across the room all the shirts fell out the bottom. Not particularly secure as boxes go. It didn't occur to me that I might need packing tape. Every time I shipped anything with UPS, they taped the box. Why would the post office be different? But for now, it was clear that I would have to carry the box (which I couldn't tape because I wanted to exchange it) and the shirts separately. I got the shirts and the box all loaded into the car and drove the two blocks to the post office. I waited in line(as you do at the post office) and when it was my turn I explained that the box was too big and I'd like to swap it out for a smaller one. The clerk (a newbie) politely explained that they were not set up to do refunds or exchanges. Really?? Everyone does refunds and exchanges. But apparently not the USPS. Oh yeah, it's almost like the government. Of course they're not set up for refunds! (It's a wonder you can get one from the IRS!) So now I have to buy another box and take the big box back home. Maybe I can sell it in a garage sale. We paid $5.49 for it so we should be able to sell it for at least 25 cents.

Anyway, I selected the medium-sized box and started putting the shirts in it. I asked the clerk if they taped the boxes. It seems that they only tape the boxes if you are shipping priority mail. Otherwise you can buy a bit of packing tape for $3.49. As it happens, we have rolls and rolls of packing tape at home. I phoned Mark and told him he was right about not being able to return the box and could he please bring me the packing tape. (He LOVES it when I say "Darling, you were right...)

So Mark came and taped up the box. By this time, the clerk had gone on break and the Postmaster had come out to tend the counter.

"Hi Barbara, I thought I heard you. How are you?"
"I'm fine Gwen, how are you? This is just proving more work than I'd anticipated."
"Don't worry, we'll get you fixed up."

Next Gwen weighs the package to determine how much the postage is. That was when I stated my mistaken belief that "If it fits, it ships - it's a flat rate." It was also when I found out that I had the wrong box for that. I was directed to the flat rate boxes on the wall, right next to the boxes like mine. And then I looked at a poster for flat rate shipping. It showed a smiling postman delivering boxes that looked quite similar to the box I had, not those teeny things displayed on the wall.

"This poster is a bit deceptive. It shows this size box, not those small ones."
"Oh, those are priority boxes. Priority boxes are free! Do you want to send it priority?"

What! I've already bought two boxes and NOW they tell me there's a free box? And if I send it priority, they'll tape it for me. I've already taped the second box so I am now obligated to buy it.

Who knew there were so many choices at the post office? And it's easy to make the wrong choice without even realizing it.

And bless her, the Postmaster tried to give me a break. When she tallied up the tab, she said "You already had the box, right?" And honest me, said "No, I had the wrong size box so this is a new one." (My parents taught me that honesty is the best policy, and I still believe it.)

But I think that the next time I want to ship something, I just might drive 30 minutes to the UPS store.