Cleaning House

I've got to say that being isolated has been somewhat productive. I've reorganized the pantry and  every closet in the house except Mark's. I got rid of a bunch of stuff that I'll never wear or use again.

I've also had a lot of time to think about all sorts of things. I've spent a good bit of time thinking about friends. A lifetime of them. I thought about how friendship changes. And how friendships change. And how FaceBook and social media in general have muddied the friendship waters.

I thought about writing about how friendships change throughout your life -starting with the times I ran inside crying to my mom that "Kathy isn't going to be my friend anymore" and then the transition to school, and junior high and high school and then college. The transitions and changes when you marry, and then divorce, and then marry again. But I doubt my experience is significantly different from anyone else's, so I scrapped that idea. I may come back to it. Who knows?

At any rate, there are acquaintances and there are friends. I don't expect much from acquaintances. But I do have expectations of friends.

1. I expect a friend to communicate with me. Whether it's in person, on the phone or online doesn't matter.  
2. I expect a friend to cheer my successes and achievements and celebrate with me.
3. I expect a friend to have something in common with me. It may be core beliefs and values or it may be shared experience. 

Most of the people I have known in my life are acquaintances rather than friends. Then along comes social media. FaceBook started out as a great thing. At least I think so. It was great to reconnect with school friends and work friends that I'd lost touch with over the years. Sort of like email. Remember when email was new? People used it in place of writing letters. Seriously, they did! And then it became a platform for chain letters and jokes. I rarely look at email anymore. It's mostly spam, anyway. And now it's happening to FaceBook. People used to share what was going on in their lives - completed craft projects, funny things that happened at work, frustrations with the weather, malfunctioning appliances and misbehaving dogs. They shared pictures of kids, grandkids, pets, gardens and vacations. There's still some of that, but too often it's Smudge the Cat or some political nonsense put out by disinformation farms. 

So I decided to do a bit of social media housecleaning. That was about three weeks ago and I have no regrets. I went through my friends list and looked at each one with the following criteria in mind:

If you're not (or would not) be my friend in real life, we don't need to be connected on social media. This category covered the most people. If the highlight of your day was someone "putting me in my place" or "giving me hell" than you are no longer my friend on social media. If I met you through my husband's networking group and we never had any contact outside of that, you are no longer my friend on social media. If you never actually liked me, but tolerated me because you liked Mark, then you are no longer my friend on social media. Oddly, I did retain a few friends who are deceased. (I'm not totally sure why.)

If your posts are always negative you are no longer my friend on social media. It wearies me. Also if the only thing you ever share is Smudge the Cat, you are no longer my friend on social media. In fact, if you never post anything but memes and you managed to miss the first cut, you are probably on very thin ice right now. Articles = good. Memes = bad (unless they are funny).

If you never comment or respond in some way to things that I post, I assume that you already blocked me and therefore won't notice that you are no longer my friend on social media.