So what could I possibly hate? Gifts. I hate the whole gift-giving thing. Giving and receiving. I can do without it.
I liked it fine as a child. What child doesn't like getting stuff? I still remember a Christmas long ago when my dad gave my mother a dress and she cried all day. I didn't understand why she was unhappy - after all, she got a present. I pointed that out to her but it didn't help. I understand it now. She and my dad had agreed to spend all the available money on me and my brothers. (I didn't have a sister yet.) They weren't going to get each other anything. And my dad had gone outside that agreement and bought her a dress. She'd stuck to the agreement and didn't get him anything, and his gift made her feel bad. A similar thing happened to me when my son was a teenager. My husband and I had agreed to spend $250 each on each other and $500 on my son. I stuck to the plan, but my husband probably overspent on me by $1000. I felt badly because the most money should have been spent on the child. It was excessive and thankfully, he never did it again.
But back to childhood. I don't remember most of the gifts I received as a child. I only remember the one I didn't get. When I was nine or ten, I wanted a Barbie doll. My cousin had a Barbie, and a Ken, and a Midge, and Barbie's Dreamhouse and Barbie's car. Was a Barbie too much to ask for? Apparently, because I didn't get it. The doll I did get wasn't even a Barbie knock-off. By that time, I was old enough to try to mask my disappointment but Mom probably knew that Miss Revlon, was not really a satisfactory substitute. But all in all, childhood Christmases must have been fine because that's the only disappointment I remember. And when I was 16, it was perfect. I got the outfit I wanted and a Beatles album. I was a happy girl.
Fast forward to the 70s. I'd been seeing this guy for a while and I actually dared to hope that my Christmas present would be a diamond ring. Well, it wasn't. It was a watch - with a teeny tiny diamond where the number 12 is on a watch face. I realized that it would be the only diamond I would ever get from that man.
A few years later, I was seeing someone else. And while I wasn't expecting or even hoping for a diamond ring, I was hoping for something romantic. I didn't know what exactly - just something romantic - maybe a heart shaped pendant or a bracelet. You know what he gave me? A cheese board. Probably given to him by someone he worked with and he didn't want it. That kind of thing brings you back to earth in a hurry.
And as life went on, the pressure to spend, outspend, and overspend grew. Not only was the gift important, so was where you got it. I always felt pressure to find the "right" gift. And I wondered if I'd spent enough. Did I spend the same amount on everyone? Will this brand be okay? Will s/he like the color/style/etc. In spite of all that, I still somewhat liked the challenge but when you only get it right once every 10 years, it makes you want to stop trying.
Although these questions never seemed to bother most people I know. I spent weeks thinking about what to get someone. Trying to think of just the perfect thing. My ex never fretted. He just went to the mall on Christmas Eve. I'm pretty sure that he just went into the store nearest the closest parking place he found and bought the first five things he laid eyes on. There is no other explanation for how I would end up with an air popper.
But I'm pleased to report that Mark and I have it figured out. Everyone (except us) gets money or gift cards. I've always hated doing that because it requires no thought and no effort and no Christmas spirit. But it seems to be more appreciated than my efforts to pick out a sweater. We buy whatever we want throughout the year and then we can look for fun things for Christmas. We try to change it up a bit every year. One year the challenge was how many items can you stuff in a stocking for $20? Another time it was all kitchen items, another time everything had to be travel related. One year, all the gifts I bought him started with the letters in his name - and he did the same. This year, we've been looking for things that start with the letters in Christmas. It's been fun, we have chocolates, hats, a rugby shirt, an instant pot, slippers, tabasco, magnets, and shirts. We'll get those Apple watches when we get home. And we've had fun.
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