Be Nice or Leave

We've come to that time where we look back on the year that's passing while looking forward to the year to come.

I'm getting to the stage where marking the passage of time is no longer taken for granted. I remember a class reunion about 14 or 15 years ago and at that time I think we'd only lost five - most of them accidental and within the first ten years of graduation. I know that number has more than doubled. That number grows every year.

Within the last two years, four very dear friends have lost their husbands. For two of them, it was quick and unexpected. The other two had to witness the suffering that comes with diseases. I have two more friends who are staring this loss in the face. Although their husbands are still living, for all practical purposes, they've lost them. They've given up the role of companion to become caregivers, a necessary passage and one entered willingly, but still sad.

I also saw the passing of some acquaintances who are younger than me. While illness isn't necessarily age-related, the probability of surviving does decrease with age.

My point is this: Life is uncertain, at best. And while I don't know how much time I have left to live, I do know that my time on earth is limited. And there are certain things I don't have time for: Pettiness, Arguments, Unnecessary Drama, Divisiveness, and Negativity.

I don't want to be around anyone -  friend, family, acquaintance, stranger - who is intent on being any of those things. In the past, I've allowed people to come in to my life and steal my God-given joy.
And those people will just have to take their drama somewhere else. Does that mean you can't tell me your bad news? Of course not! Bad things happen. And as long as your intent is not to be petty or start an argument, I'm here to support you and do what I can to help.

I have another point. I don't care about your politics any more than you care about mine. You're not going to change my mind and I'm not going to change yours. I also know that it's very tempting to questions someone's mental capacity based on their political beliefs. (That and their ability to use proper grammar.) It was not always this way. I pray that we find our way back to civility. Two times recently I've made a simple statement on a political post. That simple statement was "I disagree." And in response to that simple statement, I was told (by people who are complete strangers to me) that I was "hateful" "lazy" "greedy" "stupid" and more. I need to work harder at not engaging with these people. But, sometimes the claims are so outrageous that one feels compelled to challenge them - even with a simple "I disagree". But apparently it's not possible to disagree without pettiness, arguments, drama, divisiveness and negativity. And a complete lack of civility.

So whether it's real life or Facebook posts, I'm going to do my best to eliminate those negatives from my life.