What I Hate About Christmas

I love Christmas music. I probably have about 30 Christmas CDs. I love the decorating. I put up four trees - not counting the little ones that sit on table tops. I even like the "busyness" of the season - the parties and get-togethers.

So what could I possibly hate? Gifts. I hate the whole gift-giving thing. Giving and receiving. I can do without it.

I liked it fine as a child. What child doesn't like getting stuff? I still remember a Christmas long ago when my dad gave my mother a dress and she cried all day. I didn't understand why she was unhappy - after all, she got a present. I pointed that out to her but it didn't help. I understand it now. She and my dad had agreed to spend all the available money on me and my brothers. (I didn't have a sister yet.) They weren't going to get each other anything. And my dad had gone outside that agreement and bought her a dress. She'd stuck to the agreement and didn't get him anything, and his gift made her feel bad. A similar thing happened to me when my son was a teenager. My husband and I had agreed to spend $250 each on each other and $500 on my son. I stuck to the plan, but my husband probably overspent on me by $1000. I felt badly because the most money should have been spent on the child. It was excessive and thankfully, he never did it again.

But back to childhood. I don't remember most of the gifts I received as a child. I only remember the one I didn't get. When I was nine or ten, I wanted a Barbie doll. My cousin had a Barbie, and a Ken, and a Midge, and Barbie's Dreamhouse and Barbie's car. Was a Barbie too much to ask for? Apparently, because I didn't get it. The doll I did get wasn't even a Barbie knock-off. By that time, I was old enough to try to mask my disappointment but Mom probably knew that Miss Revlon, was not really a satisfactory substitute. But all in all, childhood Christmases must have been fine because that's the only disappointment I remember. And when I was 16, it was perfect. I got the outfit I wanted and a Beatles album. I was a happy girl.

Fast forward to the 70s. I'd been seeing this guy for a while and I actually dared to hope that my Christmas present would be a diamond ring. Well, it wasn't. It was a watch - with a teeny tiny diamond where the number 12 is on a watch face. I realized that it would be the only diamond I would ever get from that man.

A few years later, I was seeing someone else. And while I wasn't expecting or even hoping for a diamond ring, I was hoping for something romantic. I didn't know what exactly - just something romantic - maybe a heart shaped pendant or a bracelet. You know what he gave me? A cheese board. Probably given to him by someone he worked with and he didn't want it. That kind of thing brings you back to earth in a hurry.

And as life went on, the pressure to spend, outspend, and overspend grew. Not only was the gift important, so was where you got it. I always felt pressure to find the "right" gift. And I wondered if I'd spent enough.  Did I spend the same amount on everyone? Will this brand be okay? Will s/he like the color/style/etc. In spite of all that, I still somewhat liked the challenge but when you only get it right once every 10 years, it makes you want to stop trying.

Although these questions never seemed to bother most people I know. I spent weeks thinking about what to get someone. Trying to think of just the perfect thing. My ex never fretted. He just went to the mall on Christmas Eve. I'm pretty sure that he just went into the store nearest the closest parking place he found and bought the first five things he laid eyes on. There is no other explanation for how I would end up with an air popper.

But I'm pleased to report that Mark and I have it figured out. Everyone (except us) gets money or gift cards. I've always hated doing that because it requires no thought and no effort and no Christmas spirit. But it seems to be more appreciated than my efforts to pick out a sweater. We buy whatever we want throughout the year and then we can look for fun things for Christmas. We try to change it up a bit every year. One year the challenge was how many items can you stuff in a stocking for $20? Another time it was all kitchen items, another time everything had to be travel related. One year, all the gifts I bought him started with the letters in his name - and he did the same. This year, we've been looking for things that start with the letters in Christmas. It's been fun, we have chocolates, hats, a rugby shirt, an instant pot, slippers, tabasco, magnets, and shirts. We'll get those Apple watches when we get home. And we've had fun.

The 1%

We've been dealing with Mark's anemia for almost a year now. All sorts of tests and treatments were tried while the doctors focused on treating the symptoms. The initial treatment consisted of extremely high doses of prednisone - a steroid. This had an adverse effect and landed him in the hospital last April where he had to have several transfusions. Transfusions are necessary when the hemoglobin drops below 7. (Normal is 14 for men.)

They continued to look for the cause of the problem. Finally, in June a test indicated that he had Cold Agglutinin Disease or CAD. You probably haven't heard of it, we certainly hadn't. It effects only 1% of the world's population. And that being the case, I was surprised that there is a treatment protocol for it. The first step was an infusion of rituximab weekly for four weeks, supplemented by injections of procrit when the hemoglobin count was below 9. After those initial four treatments he went to having the treatment once every four weeks. In the coming year, the doctor is planning to see if we can extend the time in between treatments to six weeks because his hemoglobin count is fairly stable around 10 and he mostly feels good.

But what it means in real life: It means that he really can't be in temperatures below 50 degrees F. When he gets cold, his immune system attacks his red blood cells and that is what carries oxygen through your system. So getting cold is a big no-no. It means that he may be bundled up in a winter coat when other people are wearing sweaters. It means that there will not be anymore February vacations in places like NYC or Ireland. It means he's off the hook for skiing. It means we may never do that Alaska cruise or trip to Iceland. It also means that when he isn't feeling well, we pop into an urgent care center if we're away just to have his blood tested. It means we have to plan our trips around the treatment schedule - although the doctor indicated that we should live our lives and work the treatments in. (Although I'm not sure about that because if the insurance company says every four weeks, they won't cover it if you try to do it in three.)

Other than that, we're still figuring it out. Learning what can and can't be done. And I've got to say that we had aspired to be in the 1%, this just isn't the 1% we had in mind.

Losing Patience and Patients

I've been trying to get Mark an appointment with a gastroenterologist since May or June. Of course he couldn't go to the one he went to a few years ago because that one is NOT in his network. As luck would have it, the one gastroenterology practice that is in network has four doctors. But it turns out if you've ever seen one of them, you can't change to a different doctor. Of course, he saw the lead doctor in the practice eight years ago when he was probably the only doctor. Now he's probably the busiest. (But it's against their policy to allow a patient to change doctors - even if they don't like the doctor.)

Because he is busy, he has some assistants. But Mark's insurance prohibited him from seeing an assistant and insisted that he see only the doctor. That requirement was very limiting. We had an appointment in July that had to be rescheduled because Mark had a conflict. Rescheduled for October but that had to be rescheduled because the doctor had a conflict.

We thought we had an appointment last Wednesday at 11:15. All I needed to do was confirm which location he was supposed to be at. I phoned at 9:00 am and was told that his appointment was at 9:15. Wow. It doesn't matter which location it's supposed to be at, we can't get out of the driveway in 15 minutes, much less get to McKinney or Frisco. The next appointment available would be in mid January. Had they sent a reminder text or called the day before like most doctor's offices do, we might have got it right. Even my hairdresser sends me a text confirmation of my appointment time.

I've only been trying to get him in there since May or June. Is January really the best they can do? And I don't really understand why there has to be a consultation before they can do the colonoscopy anyway. They told me it was so the doctor could determine if he needed one. We've got a general practitioner, a cardiologist and a hematologist who have been on us since May or June to get this done. Is this doctor going to go against the advice of the other three? I understand it's his specialty, but I really don't see why he'd say no when the other three say yes. And it's usually enough to get one based on age alone, even if your doctor hasn't specifically requested it. In the end, we were able to make an appointment for the following day with the assistant because the insurance company decided that it would now cover visits with the assistant - effective November 1. Apparently the assistant can make the determination (with a phone call to the doctor) to go forward with the procedure. First available date? December 31. Seriously, who deliberately schedules a procedure on New Year's Eve? Even if we planned to be in town, that would not be part of our plan. So he's now scheduled for mid-January and we'll have to pay the deductibles and co-pays, which we would not have to do if they could get it in before we went to Florida.

In the meantime, I was told during my last doctor visit that I needed to get one, as well. Apparently it has been six years and I was supposed to revisit that after three. (What can I say? If you don't send me a reminder, I probably won't think of it.) I wanted to go to the same doctor that I'd been to before, the one who is no longer in Mark's network. I'm on a different insurance plan so the network isn't a  problem for me. I called a couple of weeks ago to make the appointment. It couldn't be scheduled until they had a copy of my most recent physical. No problem. I phoned up our GP and was told they'd send it right over. No doubt they did. But the gastroenterologist's office did not call me. I went off to Las Vegas and figured I'd deal with it when I got back.

I phoned them last Monday and was told they got something that might have been the physical but that the "medical" person would have to okay it and they'd call me back. When no one did, I figured that I'd see if I could get in to see a doctor at the practice Mark was going to. I thought I'd just ask while he was there rather than go through the BS of calling their office. (I've heard "your call is important to us" more times than I can count this week.) Had I been there before? No. Had I had a colonoscopy somewhere else before? Yes. Did I have a preference of doctor? No. They would need for me to fill out a form so they could get the records from the other gastroenterologist. No problem. And that office was only one floor down from theirs. She would run it down herself. She came back and let me know that she'd given them the form and she'd been informed that it would have to go through their "copy center" which could take up to two weeks. Seriously? Two weeks??

I had to ask myself why I was willing to move over to a practice where it had taken nearly six months for Mark to be seen. But I wasn't getting anywhere with the other office.

Keep in mind that this is for a colonoscopy. I put it off about six years past the time it's recommended to have the first one because, quite frankly, I didn't fancy it. Still don't. The idea of the procedure is distasteful and the preparation for it is agonizing. I don't like trying to sleep on the bathroom floor. I'd rather have a mammogram every day of the week than have a colonoscopy. But given that my mother had a history of colon cancer, I know I must. But to be truthful, it's very difficult to be diligent in setting up the appointment when they throw so many roadblocks in front of you.

We'd only been home about 10 minutes from Mark's visit when I got a call from the doctor's office that I'd initially contacted two weeks ago. They were prepared to schedule my appointment but were confused because they had a request to send my records to another doctor. Well that worked! I'm ready to schedule. I only contacted the other doctor because they hadn't called me back.

At least they don't require a consultation first. We could go straight to the procedure. First available date - December 31st. It's still a "no". We kicked around a couple of dates in January when she suddenly realized that she had an early morning available on the 13th. I'll take it. Before I have time to change my mind.

Lucky

I consider myself lucky. I have more than I need and just about everything I want. I have people who love and care for me. I get to do the things I want to do - for the most part.

I've known other people who are incredibly lucky. Their raffle ticket always gets drawn. Their errant golf shot hits a tree and rolls onto the green. They suck the luck out of the air so that no one else has any. (You know who you are Larry!)

But last week at the inspector conference I witnessed something that was beyond incredibly lucky. There were three drawings. One for an infrared camera, one for a 50" HD TV, and one for $500 cash. The same guy won all three! All. Three. They were all on the last day but not at the same time and you had to be present to win. All I could think was "Dude. You need to get down to the casino! Now! This can't last."

Essentials

To me, essentials are equivalent to necessities. Things you need. When I go in to a camping store, I expect them to have the things I need, like toilet paper and dish detergent. (So I was more than a bit disappointed when we went to FunTown at Winstar and the store that should have had the necessities wasn't even open.)

Last week we were at the Golden Nugget in Las Vegas for an inspection conference. I needed some Tylenol (I think the smoke that permeates the place was giving me daily headaches) and Mark needed hearing aid batteries. Essential.

Now, the store that was on the lobby floor was even called "Essentials" - so you would expect them to have those necessities. We could get the Tylenol but not the hearing aid batteries. For those we would have to venture out two blocks on Fremont Street to a Walgreens. Now, you could get batteries for your camera, your flashlight, and any number of gadgets, but not for your hearing aids. I think someone may be confused about what is and is not "essential".

Some of the other things the Essentials store had - water (yes, absolutely essential to life) beer (not so essential - although some might argue.) This store also had decks of cards, souvenir shot glasses, and t-shirts, which I suppose could be essential if you lost your shirt in the casino.

Today's Music Ain't Got the Same Soul

Ah, Motown in the 60s and 70s. Nothing better. Not sure about now. For the most part, I only listen to oldies. I know some of those old groups are still out there. Like the Temptations. We went to see them on Sunday. One of them (the guy in the middle of the photo) was in the original group that has been performing for 58 years. Assuming that he was 18 when he started (and I don't know, I'm assuming) then he would be 76 now. Good for him! Great job!

But one thing that really stood out for me was the song lyrics. My Girl (my favorite) - "I've got sunshine on a cloudy day." The Way You Do the Things You Do - "You got a smile so bright, you know you could have been a candle."  Lady Soul - "You are my life, you make me whole".

No bitches and hoes. Except for a few "social commentary songs" it's all about how good that woman makes you feel and how lucky you are to have her or how awful it's going to be to lose her.

 Assuming that popular music is a reflection of society, I have to wonder what happened. The 60s and 70s were decades of great social upheaval and strife - far from idyllic. And what I'm going to say next is a broad generalization but I think that back then, song lyrics reflected our ideals more than our reality.  Anyone else have any thoughts on the subject?

Remote Control

As we were driving through Kansas and Wyoming (and some parts of Colorado) I noticed vast farms and ranches. In Kansas I saw a  big farmhouse, several barns and outbuildings, some grain silos and then nothing else for miles around. In Wyoming I saw a mailbox and a fence - and some cows. Apparently the house was too far away to be seen from the road.

I wonder what it would be like to grow up in a place like that. I'm guessing it takes a long time to get to school. Or maybe the kids (assuming there are kids) are home schooled. I wonder what it would be like to live in such a place as an adult. You'd almost certainly be working on the farm or ranch because other places of employment would be too far away, unless of course you could work from home. You might have issues with your neighbors' animals getting into your fields, but you wouldn't get your panties in a wad over your neighbor's failure to mow his lawn or the color he painted his house because you'd probably never see it. But what do you do if you need an ambulance? Or the fire department?

I grew up in a small town with plenty of neighborhood kids to play with. I could ride my bicycle into town. I could walk to school and stop at the local soda fountain for an ice cream on my way home. When I was in sixth grade we moved to a more rural area. I thought we had moved out in the sticks. We had just under five acres but there were still a few friends within walking distance and I don't think anyone at school lived on hundreds of acres. I took a bus to school because it wasn't safe to walk - but it didn't take all day.

And now I'm back to living in a small town. At least it's small for now. (Not as small as it was when I moved here 36 years ago.) But all the changes are good. We've got three restaurants within walking distance. (Four if you count the one we don't go to.) An international airport is less than an hour away. Two grocery stores, nail salons and additional restaurants are less than 20 minutes away. There's a shopping mall and several cinemas about 30 minutes away with new ones that will be closer "coming soon".  Plus a shoe store (DSW) just opened up in that 20 minute range. What else do I need?

I don't think really remote living would suit me.