Against Medical Advice

Before my mom died, she was released from the hospital into a "rehab" facility. It was a nursing home masquerading as a rehab facility. I didn't see any evidence of "rehab", at least not where my mother was concerned.  It had the best reputation of any nursing home in the area but it was still awful. One of us, me or one of my siblings, a sister-in law or my dad was with my mom all day. Not only to keep her company, but to advocate for her. I don't know how anyone without an advocate survives the place.

At first, I asked her doctor how long she would likely be there. His answer was that it was up to her insurance company. Wrong answer! I expressed our (the family's) concerns about her care - more specifically the lack of care ( I won't get into the specific issues) but he brought the head nurse in to speak with me.

I do my best to avoid confrontation. But her approach was to try to make me believe that I'd "misunderstood" everything that I'd been told since my mother's arrival. (I think we call that gaslighting these days.)  I countered that I had always done extremely well with English comprehension and although I may have been misinformed, I did not misunderstand. It was then that she played her big card.

"If you remove your mother from this facility AGAINST MEDICAL ADVICE, her insurance will not cover this visit or any subsequent problems she might have when she is at home." That was probably the first time since becoming an adult that I wanted to punch someone in the face.

But for the past year now I've been watching half the country going against medical advice. And I'm wondering who's going to pay for that. Where I live the number of cases and deaths is going down - finally - thanks to the availability of a vaccine. I'm old enough to stay home. I can continue to order online and have things delivered if I think we're moving too fast to open up. But if you're still working and not fortunate enough to work from home, if you don't want to go back to work, it will be assumed that you quit and you will be ineligible for unemployment benefits.

Is the economy in a shambles? I suppose it is. Small businesses didn't really getting any help while national restaurant chains got millions. The airlines got big bailouts - seriously, with their revenues and profits, you'd think they could survive a few months - after all individuals and small businesses are expected to. For years, financial advisors have been suggesting that individuals and families have money set aside to pay six months of expenses in case of job loss, sickness, or maybe a global pandemic. But how many people do you know who actually have that money set aside? I can tell you that when I was a single mom, I was living paycheck to paycheck and according to a survey by Forbes in January 2019, 78% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck.(To be fair, some other surveys set the number at 49 to 53%, but that's still a lot.) Not sure how a one or two time stimulus check is going to help, especially if they have to wait months for it. 

Which is worse, financial ruin or death? I suppose it depends on whose financial ruin we're talking about. States opened up before they met the recommended criteria because they didn't want their unemployment funds depleted, particularly in a time of reduced tax revenues. They don't really care about deaths because it's a number on a spreadsheet. As Dan Patrick in Texas pointed out, seniors should be willing to sacrifice themselves to benefit the economy their grandchildren will inherit. I think he should go first. 

So on a personal level, which is worse? Financial ruin or death? They're both game changers, that's for sure. I'm going to say I'd rather be ruined financially than be dead. But hey, that's just me. I got the vaccine at my earliest opportunity and I'm feeling far safer than I did this time last year.