Remembering Mom

Seems I've been thinking about my mom quite a bit lately. Probably because last week was her birthday (she would have been 85) and then yesterday was Mother's Day and that's just where your thoughts go.

And I wonder, how am I like her? How am I different?

I read an article (or maybe it was a book) about women and their relationships with their mothers. There seemed to be a consensus that telling a woman "you're just like your mother" constituted "fighting words". It's been a while since I read that book or article, but at the time I agreed. I was absolutely NOTHING like my mother. So I put the question to my mother. I expected her to say she was nothing like her mother. The answer I got was not the answer I expected.

I can't remember her exact words, but I know the gist of them. She wished she were more like her mother. Because her mother was so "good" and she didn't think she could ever measure up.

That was the wrong answer. You weren't like your mother and didn't want to be like your mother because your mother was never assertive and practically invited people to take advantage of her. What do you mean by "good"??  Pffft!

Fast forward 30 years. I'd be happy to be more like my mother, but I probably won't ever measure up.