Kick Off Your Shoes

I just couldn't believe it! Mark and I were walking back to our hotel in Oklahoma City after a pleasant dinner with Jason and Jacob when I was struck in the chest by a shoe.

I picked it up and turned and looked in the direction from whence it came.

"You hit me with your shoe!"

Silence on her part.

"What's wrong with you??"

Again, silence on her part. But her friend told me that it "fell" off her foot.

"Shoes don't fall off your feet and end up six feet away. You hit me with your shoe!"

Still silence on her part. But now her husband was trying to convince us that it was an accident and that she didn't mean it.

"Do I look like Hillary Clinton? Or maybe George W. Bush? Oh wait, they dodged the shoes! I got hit."

That was probably the point where Mark thought that I might beat the woman with her own shoe. He should have known better. I don't have a violent bone in my body. But I admit that I was trying to intimidate her verbally. Given her silence, I may have succeeded. On the other hand, if she'd said anything other than "I'm so sorry!" I probably would have beaten her with her shoe.

But when we got back to our room and turned on the TV, I understood fully what had happened. She'd obviously had a few Coronas.

The marketing folks at Corona have acted very irresponsibly in encouraging this type of behavior. Watch it here.

See what I mean?

Never Again!

A dentist told me I needed a root canal over 20 years ago. I said no. Just fill it. He warned me that the filling would fall out within two months and we'd have no choice but to do the root canal. I said fine. Over 20 years later, I was once again told I needed a root canal.

I wanted to say no. But there have been several occasions over the past year where I woke up with my jaw throbbing and had to take a pain killer to get back to sleep. And this time they showed me the x-rays. And they assured me that the procedure was relatively painless these days. The last thing I wanted was to be away from home and need emergency dental work. Best to fix it at home.

I went in last Thursday at 8:30 am. No gas, no general anesthesia - just plain old Novocain. (I understand that the numbing agent we all know as Novocain has really been something else for 30 odd years - but you know the stuff I'm talking about.)

They were doing one of my back teeth. Number 30 to those in the know. The hardest part was keeping my mouth open wide enough for them to work all the way in the back. About halfway through, they broke out a little gadget called a bite rest that allowed me to relax the other side of my mouth.

When it was all over and the crown had been repaired, my dentist asked "Was that so bad?" I had to admit that it wasn't as bad as I'd expected. But then again, I was numb from the top of my head to my chin and the numbness extended past my right ear. What did I know? Before I left they had me take two tylenol - just to head off any pain.

I was fine, really. This root canal business had obviously been trumped up to be far worse than it actually was. I ran a few errands before going home. I didn't feel much like eating. I think I could have managed some soup, but we didn't have anything other than golden mushroom. I cook with that one - I don't eat it. I painted the wrought iron railing at the front of the house.  I was touching up the paint on a bench in the back yard when I started to feel a bit queasy. I told Mark I was going to go rest for a while. (Something he thought I should have been doing from the moment I got home.)

Rest wasn't helping. My mouth was quickly becoming one raw, throbbing nerve. It was obvious to me that they had drilled into every tooth I had and left all of the nerves exposed. Over the counter pain killers did not help. I had not experienced this kind of pain since giving birth to a child. (I think this was worse.)  I thought that maybe if I shot myself in the foot it might take my mind off the pain in my mouth. Mark called the dentist's office to see if something stronger could be prescribed. As it turns out, it could, but it would probably make me sick.

I had a conversation with the dentist about what I could take. What happened to those good old-fashioned pain killers like Percodan and Darvon? Why is the only thing available Hydrocodone? It makes me extremely sick. Do I really want to puke when every nerve in my mouth is exposed? No, I don't think I do. We settled on some acetaminophen with codeine. I've taken codeine before without getting sick. But not this time. After throwing up I don't know how I managed to sleep, but I did. The next morning it didn't hurt nearly as bad as it did the night before. Perhaps I'd been a bit melodramatic on Thursday. Clearly, I was not going to die. We drove to Oklahoma City to see the twins sing at the Arts Festival. I wasn't feeling too bad, but I had to be careful what I ate. If something was going to go into my mouth, it had to be on a fork or a spoon. I wasn't able to bite down on anything. But Friday was better than Thursday.

Then we got to Saturday. Teeth that weren't even worked on were now throbbing. Using spoons and forks was painful. Now I know what is meant by the expression "sets my teeth on edge". My teeth were on edge and so was I. Things like that really ruin your mood. I'd decided not to risk taking any more codeine and besides, I'd left it at home. Advil was completely ineffective, but by Sunday it was a bit better, although still not great.

Now it's Monday and it's somewhat better. But I'll tell you this: the next time my dentist says I need a root canal, the answer will be no. I'm not having it. Never again!

Starting a Conversation with Noah

I don't usually write movie reviews but Noah was just so incredible, I couldn't pass up writing about it. (Although I don't think this post really qualifies as a movie review.) What makes this movie so incredible is that it has very little credibility. It also bears very little resemblance to the Bible story. It reminded me a bit of Lord of the Rings.

I know it's Hollywood and they take liberties with everything, so that wasn't much of a surprise.  I also thought that the visual effects would be stunning, but they really weren't. When I saw "the watchers" I was absolutely amazed. I didn't remember anything even remotely like this from the Bible story. Clearly it was time for me to reread the chapters in Genesis. My NRSV Bible mentions the descendents of Cain. Perhaps I misunderstood what they were calling the movie's bad guy, but I thought it was Jubal-Cain. The Bible mentions Jubal as a descendent of Cain and associates him with music (lyres and harps). Hardly seems like a bad guy. Another descendent of Cain, Tubal-cain, is associated with metal work. While a skilled metal worker can produce weapons, producing or possessing a weapon doesn't automatically make you a marauder.

When I saw "the watchers" I was stunned. I'd never heard of them. The Nephilim are mentioned in the Bible, and while it's fairly unclear about who or what they were, I didn't get the impression that they were huge animated stones. Perhaps this is my mistake, but somehow I doubt it.

I was also surprised at their clothing. It looked almost like jeans. Why not? The Bible doesn't actually describe the clothing of the day and in all actuality, it probably wasn't the gleaming white robes depicted in the paintings we're all familiar with. (If those paintings are to be believed there were no style changes from the beginning of time until the time of Christ. What are the odds?)

Then there's the issue of Noah's children. I'll admit that I mistakenly thought that Noah had daughters as well as sons. However, according to the Bible, all three of Noah's sons had wives who boarded the ark with the family. There would have been no reason for Ham to be out scouting for women and Japheth was clearly not the child the movie portrays him to be. (And according to my re-reading of this text, Ham is the youngest, not Japheth, anyway.)

And then there's the character of Noah. I hadn't realized he was Methuselah's grandson, but he sure enough was. Just not much made of that in the Bible story for some reason. Nor is there any reason to think that Methusalah had any mystical powers - just the wisdom that comes with old age. And as we all know, "with age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone". But I guess he was playing the part of Gandalf. The Bible story is very clear that Noah knew what was going on. He knew that it was his job to save the animals and humanity. Russell Crowe's Noah seemed to think that he was supposed to save the animals and kill off humanity.

I read one article that described this movie as being the Gnostic story of Noah. The article was interesting, but I truly don't know enough about Gnosticism to make a judgement. Others have said that the movie is a good "conversation starter", enabling Jews and Christians to speak with non-believers about their faith. I just can't imagine what direction that conversation would take. Talk about the movie, or talk about the Bible story - there's not much common ground.

Luxury Without Limits

We just got our invitation to apply for the new Visa Black card. We always look at these offers. Many of them offer bonus miles if you open an account and spend $1000 within three months. (You can't have too many air miles). But Whoa! This card carries some hefty annual fees ($690 for both of us) but promises "Luxury without Limits". I've got to look - what could they possibly give me to make this card worth $690 per year?

Let's look at the brochure. The card is made of stainless steel. While that may be a novelty, it makes no difference to me.

Points are worth twice as much when redeemed for airfare. They point out that 25,000 points is all it takes to get a $500 ticket and that it takes 50,000 to get that same ticket on American Express. Fine. You can't go very far on $500 anyway and it does not begin to compete with the cards that give us American Airlines Aadvantage points where 40,000 points will get you a round trip to Europe. No bonus at all if you use your points for hotels or cash back.

They are offering 24-hour concierge service to assist with all of my "personal, business and travel needs". That's cool. I would have expected them to assist with my personal and business travel needs. I'm not sure whether they really want to assist me with every facet of my life or whether they just don't know where to place their commas.

They would also send me the "Members Only" - Black Card Magazine which would showcase the "finest in travel, fashion, transportation, technology, interior design and art". What!?! They've left out food! That's why I like Better Homes and Gardens. "Better" works for me.

I would be able to use my points toward the "finest accommodations". Of the few places they list as examples, the only one we're likely to use is Royal Caribbean. But we'd most likely be applying our points toward a full price fare. Why would I do that when I can get deeply discounted fares through a cruise agency? If I wanted to pay full price for a fare, I'd buy one with a work-related seminar included so I'd at least have a bit of a tax write off.

They're offering unlimited cash back. For every 15,000 points, I can have a $150 credit on my statement. I'm not sure what percentage American Express gives me but I suspect it is 1% - same as this. And that is automatic, it comes to $15 or $20 per month. I don't have to wait until I've accumulated 15,000 points.

Now, here's a benefit that actually has some appeal - Airport Lounge Access - unlimited visits to 350 lounges in 200 cities. We've often considered buying a membership. American's Admiral's Club is $500 per year for one of us, but both of us can use it as long as we're together. You get free snacks and drinks and they'll call you when it's time to board - you don't have to watch the gate or listen for announcements. We still haven't decided whether it's worth the $500. If you're traveling business or first, you can use the lounge anyway. So I'm not certain how valuable this would be to someone who is accustomed to"luxury without limits".

Then there's the VIP treatment you receive at over 3,000 hotels, resorts and villas. Or is that 545 hotels and resorts? Are the 520 small independent hotels included in the 545? Obviously there are people who are more challenged by math than I am so it is hard to say. But never mind that - what exactly is VIP treatment? They mention spa treatments. Does that mean they're free? They also mention complimentary breakfast, early check-in and late check-out. Many hotels include breakfast and most will offer early check-in and late check-out if you just ask. Perhaps I've been getting VIP treatment all along and just didn't know it.

Also, for being a loyal cardmember, I'll receive "Luxury Gifts" from some of the world's top brands. What could those be? A Hermes scarf in a color that matches nothing I have? Maybe a bottle of scotch that no one will drink? I would hope that at $690 I would get something better than the jar opener that the National Consumer Panel sent me.

Now, this is a plus. No foreign transaction fees! I have long held the opinion that they have a lot of nerve calling themselves "World Mastercard" when you incur a fee every time you use your card outside the United States. Even so, our foreign transaction fees never amount to even $100 per year - and we go to England or Europe several times per year. And this specifically states that this exemption is for purchases made while traveling abroad. So I might still incur a foreign transaction fee if I order flowers for my mother-in-law from the comfort of my own home.

This card offers zero liability for unauthorized purchases. How is this different from other cards?

This card will replace, repair, or reimburse up to $500 per claim for eligible items within the first 90 days. Whether this is a benefit or not depends on the definition of "eligible items." And I think American Express does the same thing.

And last but not least, they will reimburse you up to $100 per day for three days for the purchase of "essential" items in the event of a baggage delay. I'm going to assume that clothes are not essential items because you might not be able to get what you need for $100. If you're at the beach, perhaps. If you're in New York, London or Paris, probably not.

Perhaps luxury does have some limits after all.

Three Strikes and You're Out

Sometimes you know better but you do it anyway. Things like choosing a doctor because his office isn't that far from your house. Although I used that strategy when I chose my dentist and it worked out really well.

I should have been suspicious last October when I had my first appointment with this doctor (a dermatologist) and I didn't actually see a doctor - only his staff. (Even when I go in to my GP for something that the nurse can handle, I still see him. But I didn't actually see this doctor - only his assistant.) That should have been strike one - but I let that slide reasoning medical costs are so high because doctors are doing work that could be assigned to a nurse, or nurse practitioner.

I'd gone in to get the full body scan - a check to make sure that nothing suspicious looking had cropped up anywhere on my body. At most ALL doctors' offices, you are told what to expect and if necessary, given a hospital-type gown to put on.  Even if there is a separate changing room the medical professional knocks on the door to make sure you're ready before coming back into the room. But not this doctor's assistant. He just opened the door. AWKWARD. Embarrassing for both of us. But I'm a big girl and I can get past this. But the lack of professionalism was strike one.

Then in December, the skin on my eyelids started getting flaky. I thought I might have developed an allergy to one or more of the skin care products I use. I went back to the dermatologist. Once again, I didn't see the dermatologist, only his "assistant" and nurse. They suggested that I start using Head and Shoulders shampoo. For the life of me, I could not understand how this was going to help my eyelids, especially since I always try really hard not to get shampoo in my eyes - and Head and Shoulders shampoo stings a lot worse than my Itely shampoo. When I didn't seem convinced that his treatment strategy was right, he offered to refer me to a doctor who specialized in eyes. A ridiculous recommendation was strike two.

 I declined the referral but thought that since I was there, I might as well have a few skin tags removed. When I went to make my copay, I was informed that my bill was $15. It seemed I had a credit balance on my account from October. They hadn't been familiar with my insurance so they'd charged me more than they should have and when my insurance paid they just kept the money on my account. They never sent me a statement with a credit balance or a refund check. If I'd never gone back to that office I am convinced they would have pocketed the money. That was strike three. I assure you, if I owed them money I would have received a statement.

So when the whole eyelid situation escalated until my eyelids were bleeding and so swollen that I could barely see, I decided to find a different doctor. I started with my GP who treated it like an allergy and told me that it should be cleared up in a week but if it came back I would need to see a dermatologist. This time I decided to base my choice on something other than office location. I based my choice on his age (over 60), his board certifications, his reviews, and his participation in my insurance network. I considered the location but it wasn't the prime factor. After just a couple weeks of the proper medication, my eyes are fine and I don't have to switch shampoo.